||[Jun. 10th, 2007|12:19 am]
i graduated from high school yesterday. its such a weird feeling, because in a lot of ways i'm so happy about it (i'm definetly ready to move on and be done with all this petty high school drama), but in other ways it feels like last night marked the end of my childhood. i've been eighteen for a while, i've had my liscense, i've done this and that, but graduating high school seems like the final step in a series of events leading to my adulthood. |
there are a lot of people at school that i'm not friends with anymore, but were my best friends growing up. watching the slide show at senior banquet brought back so many memories with these people, and its so weird to think that now i'm moving on and i'll likely never see them again. they were such a big part of my childhood, and now it's like i've been cut away from them completely. there are only a select few people that i have any interest in staying in touch with. but then there are so many people that i sort of know, that i joke with or say hi to, but that i never would have called to hang out, that i took for granted.
i'm sure i'll meet new people next year and i won't even remember why i liked anyone back home in the first place. or why i even cared what the dumb kids at school thought of me. that's part of why i'm so excited to move on and start again at a school with 17,000 people. if i screw up, or do something gossip-worthy, not everyone at school will know or care. i can't wait for that freedom.
i got my fortune told at project graduation last night, and the lady said that i should cleanse my mind and body and leave everything behind me and move forward with life, which is exactly what i need to do. (she also said i was going to sleep with a 27 year old sometime soon, but i won't get into that...)
so graduation is the final step of my childhood, but the first step of my new beginning. from now on, nothing matters, (although nothing truly ever did matter, but its hard to think that way.)
i think for the most part, high school was a great and successful four years. minus a few little blips, it went pretty smoothly. i hope i can look back and remember all of the good things, and not focus on the bad. i don't want high school to be this big shadowy regret in my past. but i don't think it will be.
i'm confused. i'm happy, and i'm sad, and i'm tired, and i'm going to bed.